I try very hard to bring positivity into my life.
I wrap it around me to keep the demons away.
My happiness and positivity are not easy or natural
But still I try.
And I rise
Above my pain, my anger, my disappointment, my disillusionment, and my fear.
But still they come.
Still they find me.
And there’s no real escape from them.
Every time I run, You somehow find me.
You‘ve been in me and still remain lodged up there somewhere.
You are the nightmare I cannot stop reliving.
You are the darkness I desperately try to burn away.
You are my deepest darkest fear. My boogieman.
You are my Hell.
But I refuse to despair.
And I refuse to boil up with anger.
I cannot change history or change you,
but I can change how I deal with what you’ve done and deal with me.
I can focus on me and love me.
I can and will heal from this,
and I hope that one day you might realize the damage and pain you’ve inflicted.
One day, I pray that you do change and heal too.
❤ life as an agoraphobe